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Past Articles:
Childhood Obesity: The Rise and Risk
Tallying Your Thoughts: Looking Deeper
A Nicer Way of Self-Evaluating: Process vs Outcome
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Jessica Furie |
WHY DON'T WE LISTEN TO OUR BODIES: FEAR OF CHANGE
Written by Jessica Furie, Associate Clinical Social Worker
(A discussion of Kit's last video, "Listen to Your Body")
Why are we so afraid of change? So I watch the show Weeds. For the first three seasons I thought the theme song was the most annoying thing had ever heard. As I pressed the fast forward button, I reassured myself that Tivo was a worthwhile investment. However, when I watched it this season and the theme song was gone, I automatically missed it presence. Why? Because it gave me a sense of familiarity, predictability, and it was something I could count on.
Although the changing of a theme song is ever so trivial, it illustrates how even small changes affect us. We are afraid of change because of fear of losing something or giving something up. We want to stay around what is familiar, what we know works. Sometimes, we engage in behavior even though we question the ramifications. We have that extra drink even though we know it wont end well, we stick to a no carb diet even though it makes us miserable, and we keep at boring jobs even though we hate it.
Kit and I have pushed ourselves to go out on runs or hit the gym even though our bodies told us, “dude, don’t do it. I can’t hack it.” I would go on vacation and make sure that I worked out because I didn’t want the chocolate lava cake to haunt me when I returned home. So why can’t we change our ways (both in the long term and while on vacation)? Because we are scared of all the things we will lose.
I thought that if I stopped running/working out, I would be afraid of “losing” the following:
- Self-confidence (based on my appearance)
- The opportunity to improve how I look
- The perception of self-control
- The belief that I can achieve my goals
- The ease of maintaining my weight
So you know what I had to do? Make ambiguity an ally and rework my view of what change means.
It is true that when we deviate from our general behaviors, we do not know what the outcome will be. Sometimes we fear the worst and other times, we are realistic in our predictions. Sometimes we need to sit with multiple thoughts that we view as conflicting. I want to look good. I want to respect my body. I want to relax on my vacation. I want to maintain my weight.
The idea that you are identifying your conflicting values (being fit and listening to your body) is the first step in contemplating if you want to change or not. This is a big accomplishment! No matter what end result you choose, know that the choice was made with thought and intention.
Change your “fear of changing” into a growth opportunity by challenging yourself. Instead of worrying about what you are losing, change it into an opportunity to gain new skills and experience new challenges. If you opt out of running because your knee hurt you, look at what you are gaining instead of losing. You are taking steps at conquering your fear of change, and that is a much bigger accomplishment than any run you will go on.